The world has officially gone mad. I should have realised this a while ago, I suppose, but it’s true. We had a punnet of nectarines on the work surface of the kitchen (not yet ripe, unfortunately), and the label included this instruction: Wash before use.
Now, I wasn’t sure that you used nectarines. Consumed, yeah. Ate, yeah. But do I say, “Oh, I just used a nectarine”? No. I generally say, “I just ate a nectarine.”
I don’t understand why they should say that. I mean, Douglas Adams pointed out something similar when he wrote about instructions on toothpicks, but seriously. It’s understandable to say that you should wash them, but not that you should use them. I don’t know what’s happening any more, when people use nectarines.
What was I actually intending to talk about today? I had to check my blog plan (check out the Structure Page) and I figured that, whatever, you probably wouldn’t mind if I ranted about nectarines for a while. For a start, nothing interesting is happening in the near future, so I’ve nothing to write about in terms of events. And I’ve been on a rather boring trip to an art gallery today, so there’s not a huge amount to say about school (except that taking Art is a bad idea, and managing to read three books today was a good idea).
And then it dawned on me that promising a blog post on Wednesdays isn’t a brilliant plan. I have the morning, before school, and lunch time, if I can get away, to write. That should be enough. But the evening is chock-full of stuff and now that I’ve just thought of an idea for a novel, I’m going to be even busier.
So I thought I’d make this compromise: I’ll write you a blogpost on Wednesdays if I can. If I can’t, you are not to complain. Since if I manage it you’re getting up to five posts a week, and if I don’t the fewest you can get is around three, I’m sure you can cope. I’m very interesting over on YouTube, if you’d like to check it out, and there’s always Protagonize…
So please don’t hassle me if I don’t manage a post. I’m a busy girl. It’s not helped by Asda asking me to wash my nectarines before use.
(That sounds like it could totally be misconstrued by someone with a dirty mind. Don’t even ask. I’m a teenager, I’m used to hanging out with people whose brains work like that.)
I have the perfect quote for this occasion, this time from Bill Bailey:
Hey! Asda! I ain’t gonna be your bitch!