Weird Wednesday: Wash Before Use.

Weird Wednesday: Wash Before Use.

The world has officially gone mad. I should have realised this a while ago, I suppose, but it’s true. We had a punnet of nectarines on the work surface of the kitchen (not yet ripe, unfortunately), and the label included this instruction: Wash before use.

Now, I wasn’t sure that you used nectarines. Consumed, yeah. Ate, yeah. But do I say, “Oh, I just used a nectarine”? No. I generally say, “I just ate a nectarine.”

I don’t understand why they should say that. I mean, Douglas Adams pointed out something similar when he wrote about instructions on toothpicks, but seriously. It’s understandable to say that you should wash them, but not that you should use them. I don’t know what’s happening any more, when people use nectarines.

Ahem.

What was I actually intending to talk about today? I had to check my blog plan (check out the Structure Page) and I figured that, whatever, you probably wouldn’t mind if I ranted about nectarines for a while. For a start, nothing interesting is happening in the near future, so I’ve nothing to write about in terms of events. And I’ve been on a rather boring trip to an art gallery today, so there’s not a huge amount to say about school (except that taking Art is a bad idea, and managing to read three books today was a good idea).

And then it dawned on me that promising a blog post on Wednesdays isn’t a brilliant plan. I have the morning, before school, and lunch time, if I can get away, to write. That should be enough. But the evening is chock-full of stuff and now that I’ve just thought of an idea for a novel, I’m going to be even busier.

So I thought I’d make this compromise: I’ll write you a blogpost on Wednesdays if I can. If I can’t, you are not to complain. Since if I manage it you’re getting up to five posts a week, and if I don’t the fewest you can get is around three, I’m sure you can cope. I’m very interesting over on YouTube, if you’d like to check it out, and there’s always Protagonize…

So please don’t hassle me if I don’t manage a post. I’m a busy girl. It’s not helped by Asda asking me to wash my nectarines before use.

(That sounds like it could totally be misconstrued by someone with a dirty mind. Don’t even ask. I’m a teenager, I’m used to hanging out with people whose brains work like that.)

I have the perfect quote for this occasion, this time from Bill Bailey:

Hey! Asda! I ain’t gonna be your bitch!

8 thoughts on “Weird Wednesday: Wash Before Use.

  1. Hm… I’m begiing to figure this blog thing out! Tally Ho.. Oh yes a comment.. *giggles*

    You totally went to Douglas Adams (hm… wonder if I’m any sort of distant… very very distan relation…) I was hoping you would as soon as you said the nectarine told you to wash before use…

    I suppose you could use the peel as zest for something. You doit for lemons and oranges, why not nectarines, so you could say I just used some nectarine zest…. And yeah, that’s all my brain came up with, and only because I have a few Rachael Ray cookbooks and had to look up waht zesting was! *grin*

    :} Elorithryn

  2. How can someone who appreciates the arts not be excited by a trip to a gallery?

    As for washing your nectarines… Life was so sweet and innocent until I stumbled across you. Now I shall never look at a bowl of fruit in the same way ever again…

    1. Art galleries and art galleries. They vary. This one was contemporary art – sculpture, obscure stuff etc. You know, it was either so totally weird you couldn’t tell what it was; people having sex; or a bunch of neon bulbs that broke my camera every time I tried to take a picture. As for the second one on that list, well … there were little kids in that gallery! I’m scarred for life, and I expect they are too …. ;)

  3. Gosh darn it. I left a reply… or at least I thought I did. *le sigh* and now it’s all gone from my head. I asure you it was funny… well it was to me. *grin*

    Anyway the only way I can think of to use a nectarine is by zesting it. In which case you… hm perhaps it’s good my comment didn’t go through because I have obviously confused a nectarine, which can’t be zested, with a tangerine, that can….

    I think I need a vacation. *giggles*

    1. I guess you could use it in a fruit salad. But I maintain my opinion – Asda has gone mad. I guess that’s why we normally shop in Sainsbury’s.

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