Feather Pen Friday: Dun?

Feather Pen Friday: Dun?

Okay, so I think I’ve been reading the NaNoisms forum too much because I originally intended to call this post ‘Done?’. However I like the new version and have left it be.

Well, a couple of days ago I finished the third book in my trilogy. It’s called Returning (the book, not the trilogy), although I’m probably going to change that name, and it’s finished. Hooray. Unfortunately, I began it while the second one was still a first draft – please, next time, someone remind me that that’s a bad idea – and I now have a delightful job: editing both of them. At the same time.

I have a feeling I won’t be doing NaNoWriMo this November. But after doing Camp NaNo in July and August, I think I’ve written enough crappy novels already this year.

And editing is just as important as writing, isn’t it? Besides, I’m totally going to be spending all my time working and contributing to ‘St Mallory’s Forever’ with Mark, Saffi and Charley, aren’t I? Of course. Not to mention all those hours of music practice, and sewing new ribbons on ballet shoes, and doing all those things people do during term time. And I’m going to be a dedicated student and do good work experience and all that stuff.

I totally won’t have time to write more than two novels this year.

But I thought I’d share with you a few errors I’ve found so far in my brief read-through of book two, Destroying.

I’d be grateful if you wouldn’t shared any of this with other fairies.

I’ve underlined what’s wrong there, to make it nice and clear :)

“Good,” said Cormac, coming into the tent. His blonde hair was tousled and he looked exhausted, but his eyes were still shining brightly. Instead of the vaguely normal clothes he’d normally worn when I saw him, he was dressed in tight brown breeches, a white ruffled shirt, a red waistcoat and a dark coat that went to around his knees. His boots were my favourite part of the outfit – they looked like something out of a pirate film.

“You look … nice,” I said, trying not to laugh.

“I’m not a human, Alys,” he reminded me, as though to point out that my dress sense and his did not need to correlate.

“You look like a peasant,” said Leah.

I’m sorry, but this scene is just so ridiculous it makes me laugh. What is even going on here?

With gentle fingers he left.

First of all he’s still in the room. And second of all, that doesn’t even make sense. At all. It was meant to say ‘lifted’ and he’s referring to a necklace. She. The narrator is a she. And I wrote it, and I’m a girl too. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

said Wny.

Her name is Bronwyn. Wyn for short. The worst bit is that I spent about ten minutes trying to work out what was wrong with this. Mind you, Chapter Seven is subtitled, “In which Bronwyn and Alys get into a conversation about Torchwood, and the author has a dyslexic moment.

They’re Welsh. No one will notice if I spell their names wrong. (“You’re Welsh, you wouldn’t notice if the vowels were missing!” ~ Captain Jack Harkness)

            When Bronwyn returned, she was transformed. Her hair was short and spiky, and a lovely shade of coppery brown. Instead of her own clothes, she was wearing a baggy pair of jeans that were definitely not girl’s. Her t-shirt was black and tight – where had they got it from? It wouldn’t fit anyone here – and she was wearing a dark leather jacket. Apart from the hair (they should have dyed it black) it was a very Torchwood look, especially with the Welsh accent.

“Why are you staring at me?” Wyn said irritable. I hastily looked at the floor.

“You look … different,” I said. “Very hardcore. Going for the Gwen Cooper image, were you?”

Her moody look disappeared and she grinned, her whole face transfigured. “All I need is the gun. And the hot leader, as well. I’m lacking that at the moment.” She glanced sideways at Sean, who turned and, not having known what we were talking about, looked totally confused when we both burst out laughing. He wasn’t ugly, not in the least, but he wasn’t Captain Jack Harkness.

First of all – why are they talking about Torchwood, and is that even legal or is it breaking copyright? And second of all, I’m pretty sure ‘irritable” should have been ‘irritably.’ Also I lied, and this is from Returning.

“Yeah. They’re the most totally nerdy band you’ve ever heard.” I gestured to the CD player in disbelief. Nothing could be nerdier than this. But Alys shook her head. “No, we’re nerdier than that. Partly because they inspired us. Thing is, I play a lot of instruments, so we have, like, orchestra arrangements of it all, and it’s quite fun … well, anyway. You get the idea.”

Clara spoke then. I’d never heard her voice before, but it was high like you’d expect from an eight year old girl. She said, “I don’t understand these songs.”

“They’re about a TV programme, you’re not expected to.”

“No, I realise that, but why are they singing about Doctor Who?”

Okay. So Torchwood first, now we’ve got a Chameleon Circuit reference. And yes I do name them later on. This is getting stupid, but I like it too much to cut it out.

So I’m going to go now. After all, I have a lot of artwork to finish, two novels to edit, one to contribute to, and a Torchwood marathon to look forward to tonight…..

6 thoughts on “Feather Pen Friday: Dun?

  1. ActuallY Del… I should think it would be okay… Who knows your books could inspire people to watch Torchwood, or buy Chameleon Circuit CDs. *grin*

    Okay since Chameleon Circuit is your own band, that’s probably okay.

    I have no idea about the TV reference… Maybe you have to rename the referenced characters? But I mean TV and movies do product placement adds, you know main character drinks coke, or a Pepsi machine is scene in the background. Why NOT use it in novels…

    If you find anythign about that let me know, because I’d be interested. These are the things that influence people now adays, it’s not surprising they end up in our novels. I know I’ve referenced Anne Mccaffery a few times in things I’ve wrtten becuase her books were a big influence on me in my teen years.

    :} Cathryn Leigh

    1. Cham. Circuit isn’t mine, Elo, they’re a band I like ;)
      I think it’s the publisher’s job to check whether it infringes copyright, isn’t it? It’s not my problem.

  2. When I finished my first (and, to date, only) novel in first-draft form, I went into full-out celebration mode, because I assumed it would just take a little proofreading, and off to the agents it would go. Not so. I started reading from the beginning, and my immediate thought was, “This is some of the worst stuff I’ve ever written. And does it even belong in this novel?” I did a complete overhaul and, six months later, am still rewriting. Don’t get me wrong, I love it. But writing is rewriting. Of course you probably know this, as you have a lot more experience in the world of novel-writing than me, but I had to go on my tangent.
    Oh! And in my last comment I neglected to mention that I did watch the Doctor Who video at the link you left on my blog. It was complete gibberish to me, but I do intend to check out the actual shows at some point.

    1. I think that’s the thing about DW, it’s gibberish to anyone. Personally my favourite series of what they call ‘New Who’ (DW since it started again in 2005) is Series 4, with Catherine Tate and David Tennant. They work so well together and are obviously such good friends – I’ve heard they’re fantastic in Much Ado About Nothing which they’re performing together.

      I think most people start off by thinking it won’t take much editing. My first novel I wrote purely to see if I could. It was a NaNo novel that I started on the 7th November, the day I found out about NaNoWriMo, and finished fifteen days later. I’d never written a novel before, and I had no plot and no characters. Actually, reading it through now, some of it isn’t that bad. Some of it is terrible and clichéd. But hey, that’s the fun of it. The only novel I’ve written that’s actually survived the editing process is Watching and that’s the first of my trilogy, so that looks good for the next couple.

What do you think? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

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