Last post, I talked about being ‘from the internet’. This post, I’m going to talk about how you can tell whether or not you’re a patriot of the world wide web or just a tourist :)
- You’re on more than four social media sites.
I know perfectly normal people (not denizens of the Net) who are on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, maybe a blog or deviantART or something. Not usually all of them. When you’re on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, WordPress, Blogger, deviantART, G+, LinkedIn, Pinterest… you get the idea. You might have a problem.
- You know computer code.
Obviously, techies have to know computer code, but if your job doesn’t involve programming and you can still write a web page in html or make a game in Python, you’re likely to be slightly Internet addicted. Admit it.
- You occasionally write notes in code without meaning too.
Physics cover lesson? Private study? Research for dissertation? Whatever it is, you’re sitting there writing about a process and how to tell the difference and you accidentally write it as an ‘If… Else’ structure. Or you put your title in < em > tags. We’ve all done it … right?
- You own a website.
Bonus points if you’ve got a custom domain name, you built the site yourself (e.g. with html or flash), or you’ve owned it since before 2000.
- You occasionally use internet words or phrases in real life in a non-ironic way.
Like saying ‘lol’ instead of laughing, ‘screenshot’ when someone makes a stupid face, ‘gpoy’ instead of ‘That’s totally me! I’m the same’… I could continue, but I don’t need to.
- When you experience something amusing you immediately begin to calculate how you would turn that into a blog post, video, or equivalent.
- You imitate Tumblr gifs or memes to make your friends laugh.
Bonus points if you can make them laugh even though they’re not Tumblr users and never saw the original.
- You spend upwards of two hours on the internet for non-work purposes.
- When people ask for your contact details, you’re unsure whether they want your phone number or your Twitter handle / YouTube username / web address.
I generally play safe and give them all of them.
- You know more people on the internet than you do in real life and refer to them as your friends.
You know – “My friend Mike said blah but I think Jim’s right…” “Who’s Mike?” “Oh, my friend from New Zealand.” “Ah. How’d you know them?” “Well, they’re from the internet really, but…”
So there we have it. If these are looking horribly familiar, you may be from the internet. Don’t worry. We really don’t mind. It’s much easier to find you that way.
Have I missed anything? I’m sure there are nice normal people who meet a few of these criteria; equally, I’m sure gamers or users of that part of the internet (not my division) will have other things to add.
But seriously, when you find yourself on the Spork Room chat on Christmas Day… let’s just say that was when I realised what I’ve become.