Quite a few people get to my blog looking for things that … well, aren’t here. Nevillegirl recently posted about her search engine terms and mine are highly amusing, so I thought I’d answer a few of the burning questions people put to Google, as they seem to be getting redirected here.
We’ll start with a fairly normal one. “i give up, mariam i can read you”. *looks around* Okay, maybe not. I’m scared.
Then we’ve got “mythology reviewer for let”. I’m not sure what they’re looking for. Someone to review mythology books for them? Someone who will hire them to review mythology books? I don’t know. WRITE REVIEWS IF YOU MEAN THEM. Don’t pay or be paid.
How to grieve fictional characters
I can answer this one!
1. Lie down.
2. Try not to cry.
hamlet written in first or third person
Oh my. It’s a PLAY, dearie. It’s ALL DIALOGUE.
reichenbach feels urban dictionary
Sherlock hurts its fangirls. Basically all I can say to that.
thor celtic mythology
No. Thor not Celtic. Thor Norse.
her name is myriam,she looks like has his brother because it is my sister
Okay, stop with the creepy … no. What? I don’t even know what that means.
do nerds like doctor who
Yes. A lot of them do. Not all of them, though.
how does arthur dent get a towel
Clearly it was magic. I’m kidding. I’m fairly sure Ford gave it to him, but I’d have to double check.
why are people named miriam so boring
I TAKE OFFENCE AT THAT. HOW DARE YOU?
if your brain was a hard drive how big would it be
The size of the planet. Honestly, and they get me to answer these questions. What do they think I am? A robot?
I wasn’t aware I was a poorly-spelled Sith lord, but if there’s a position going….
i’ve watched all joss wheedon. what can i fill my tv with now?
I don’t know, but that’s very impressive. You should hang out with my brother; he might be able to help you.
is the book sabriel not good for christians
Read what you want. Broaden your horizons. It’s your life. (Also, it’s a brilliant book, and I was brought up going to church, so hey.)
how to remember how to spell biscuit
I’m sorry, I can’t help you. I hate that word.
how to be like artemis fowl
I know he’s awesome, but he’s a criminal. I really think you should stay in school and not kidnap fairies. Please. It’s not a good idea and they get really pissed off about it.
how do i convince everyone im not a psychopath
Walk out into a public place and yell I’M NOT A PSYCHOPATH. Or get a t-shirt or something. I don’t know. Let me know if you do figure it out, though.
don’t judge a book by its cover because its almost always a happy ending
We clearly read very different books.
dat wud b d weirdest dream
Dad wud b d worst grammar I’ve seen in a long time.
mordor captain jack harkness simply walks in
That he does.
Oh no. The Johnlock shippers found my blog. HELP.
questions to ask myself before starting archery in my pe class
1. Are you feeling murderous? (If so, NO. STOP.)
2. Do you have arms? (If not, um. You might have problems.)
3. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO CHANNEL YOUR INNER PIGEON?
i can’t even touch my toes but i want to do ballet
YOU GO, little Google searcher. Go out there and do it. And then stretch every day and you’ll be able to touch them in a month or so.
do you think i could make things right do you know i’d live a thousand lives
I assume this is a lyric or something. No, I didn’t know that. But I do now.
beautiful agony hobbits to isengard
Yes. That is the best way to describe it. Thank you.
artemis fowl seven year old too young?
Probably. Then again, I read Lord of the Rings around then, so what the hell.
distinguish between sanity and hunger
Okay. You need psychological help, and that’s quite serious, so let’s just take this slowly…
I’m really sorry. If it’s any consolation, the Merlin finale did that to me, too.
my parents won’t let me watch lord of the rings
Well, that sucks. Go to a friend’s house. (Tolkien was a Catholic so it’s hardly Satanic, is it?)
how would you describe miriam
AWESOME AND NOT AT ALL BORING, DAMN IT.
does sansa stark appear in dr. who?
I’m fairly sure she doesn’t.
should a recurve bow be taller than you?
If it wants to. STOP TRYING TO CONTROL ITS LIFE. It doesn’t need you!
my siblings gang up on me and i am the youngest
I’m sorry. I know those feels. Come have a hug and rest assure that when you’re older, you and the others will gang up on the oldest. At least, that’s what happens to me.
do you hate that artemis fowl become nice in the book
No. He was adorable.
am i addicted to technology
If you’re asking Google… yes. Probably, you are.
voldemort volt de holt
First of all, I have no idea what this means. Second of all, I’m laughing too hard to answer. Oh dear.
now if you excuse me i’m going to destroy jotunheim
Have fun. I may join you.
(If I haven’t answered your questions, leave me comments, and I’ll answer them. However stupid. Well, within reason. They sort of have to be related to my blog and/or things I like, else how am I to answer them?)
/ Miriam out.