It’s been a while since I answered any of the queries I receive in search engine terms. I get fewer of them these days — more and more search engines are able to hide that information from WordPress stats, presumably for privacy reasons, and I’ve been having fewer hits lately anyway. But I think I’ve accumulated enough to be able to enlighten a few people on important and significant ideas.
Why now? Well, it’s midnight. I’ve dozed on and off all afternoon because my sleep schedule is completely out of whack. Writing at the moment feels a bit like pulling teeth — I’ve hit 42,794 words for Camp NaNoWriMo, which is great, but also means I’ve reached a point in the book where all sorts of things are different from the previous draft and I have to do a lot of thinking. So I need a break from that. And my aversion to writing about current events on my blog means I’ve not had a whole lot to say recently, so I figured this could help liven the place up a bit.
Without further ado, I present what I hope will be a detailed and informative Q&A session with some of my more inquisitive readers. These range from the bookish to the medical, with some theology in there too. Enjoy.
Q: what.book ahould.i let my kids.read. christian
A: I think you should read your children read pretty much anything they’d like — though obviously it should be age appropriate. Limiting books to your own particular viewpoint will limit their ability to form their own ideas and arguments, which might actually weaken their faith, if that’s what you’re worried about protecting. Censorship doesn’t help anyone, and there are some really great books out there which they could benefit from.
Q: lord of the dance girls taking their dresses off
A: This isn’t even a question, but it comes up in so many variations (“lord of the dance naked girls” is one of the more alarming ones) that I couldn’t write about search terms without including it. Actually, most of my search terms relate to the two posts I wrote about Lord of the Dance: Dangerous Games. Yes, there is one dance where the female dancers wear fewer clothes than the rest, a feature of the show since 1996. But I’m disturbed by how many people are looking for that.
Q: why don’t boys do a irish slip jig
A: Gender roles? I don’t know. I wasn’t particularly aware that they didn’t, but it’s probably because it’s seen as a more delicate and feminine dance, more balletic, rather than the flashy and energetic reel. I was always terrible at slip jigs, though, so read into that what you will.
Q: what does it mean when you are crying for a fiction character
A: Probably that they were well-written and had an emotional character arc which resonated you because you could identify with elements of it. Alternatively, because you were watching a TV show where other characters cried and, like me, you’re the type of person who cries in sympathy when you see other people crying. Or, you’re just really tired and over-emotional.
Q: main fictional characters similar to simon lewis
A: Again, not phrased as a question, but I’m intrigued. Simon Lewis was one of my favourite characters in The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare, but I’m sort of stumped to come up with characters like him who are protagonists. They’re prone to being relegated to the sassy sidekick. You could try Jonathan Stroud’s Bartimaeus trilogy, though. Whether or not you interpret Bartimaeus as the main character is a different matter. James Morgan in Ballad by Maggie Stiefvater is another sassy loyal nerdy type.
Q: why we care about fictional characters more than random people
A: Because real life is rarely as complexly written or tightly plotted, and real character arcs take so many years to develop and are full of inconsistencies, which can make it hard to get attached to more than a small handful of people.
Q: can hypermobility syndrome make you feel hungry all the time
A: Hmm, interesting. Not as far as I know, but it is often linked to digestive complaints like IBS, or you might be like me and discover you also have coeliac disease. So there could be something else going on that means you’re not getting enough nutrients. You might just need to eat more — hypermobility means your muscles are working extra hard to compensate for your ligaments, and maybe that’s wearing you out? Note: I am not a doctor.
Q: is artemis fowl good guy
A: Arguably, no, not in the first book. But he has a fascinating character act that you could see as a sustained redemption arc and from about halfway through the series, yes, I’d definitely say he’s a good guy. Or he’s trying to be, anyway.
Q: is artemis in the hobbit
A: I’m going to have to go with no on that one, although I’m happy to be corrected.
Q: was there a real monk named athelstan
A: Probably, as it was a common name, but the one in the History Channel’s show Vikings is a fictional character who deserved better.
Q: why crucify an apostate
A: Don’t. That’s mean, and gives religion a bad name.
Q: how accurate was ecbert translating roman texts
A: I have no idea. Go and ask the ASNaC society Tumblr; that sounds like the sort of thing they’d know.
Q: can zombies regain their intelligence
A: Maybe. Is that why they’re eating brains?
Q: my first draft reveals an unoriginal novel idea
A: Well done, you wrote a first draft. That’s what edits are for. Man, I could show you some of my first drafts — they’re the most cliched things in the world.
Q: why didn’t miriam know charlie missed the boat ?
A: Because nobody told me! WHO’S CHARLIE? WHAT BOAT? Was I meant to know about this? I’m sorry, anonymous Google searcher. I’m really sorry.
Any more questions you’d like me to answer? Leave them in the comments and I’ll do my best. The weirder the better, to be honest; I’m in that kind of mood.