Pain, Pitch Wars, and the Unemployment Void

Pain, Pitch Wars, and the Unemployment Void

Yikes. I’d just got back on the blogging wagon, and then I fell off it again. I’m sorry for my extended silence.

I haven’t been doing brilliantly the last few weeks — I’ve had some bad pain flare-ups, along with the migraines I’ve been suffering for the last couple of months, and am barely finding time to do anything. Where I do have any time, I’m tending to use it to work on Bard, which means I’ve been reading very little, and as a result I’ve taken a (hopefully brief) hiatus from my book blog.

I didn’t have much to say here because I was waiting for news on a few things, but now I have some news, so here are some updates.

Firstly, I didn’t get into Pitch Wars. Which… kind of sucks. I had one full reques from a mentor, which is more than I managed in 2016, but ultimately didn’t get chosen. My chances were small — everybody’s chances were small, since there were so many entrants — and by the time the mentor picks were announced on Friday, I’d come to terms with the prospect of not getting in. I’m invested in Bard, and I want to finish this draft, which would have been difficult to balance alongside revisions for Pitch Wars.

This also means I can take part in NaNoWriMo, which I really wanted to do because it’ll be my tenth year. I have to finish Bard first, which is going to be tough, as there’s a fair amount still to write, and I don’t actually know what I’m going to write for NaNo, but… I’ve got, like, two weeks to figure that out, so it’ll be fine, right?

Having said that, it’s still disappointing. I intend to query Butterfly of Night now, since I had a query and synopsis all lined up and polished, but I think I’m going to give it a few weeks before I embark on that, because I don’t know if I can handle any more rejection right now, emotionally speaking, since… I also got rejected for two jobs last week.

(Last week was not a great week for my self esteem.)

I haven’t been coping very well with my current job, mostly on health grounds. The nature of the role is very repetitive, which isn’t ideal for me as someone suffering chronic pain as a result of a repetitive strain injury, and the bright lights trigger my migraines. The environment is very dusty (I have dust allergies) and the bus journey is long and stressful. Exhaustion also means I’m not eating as well as I could be, nor am I doing as much exercise as I’d like, which is feeding the pain and fatigue loop.

I also keep having to take sick days, largely because of the aforementioned migraines that are a huge pain, but also because the impact of this environment and role on my immune system means I seem to be hit even harder by small things. Plus, I’m experiencing an ongoing IBS flare-up that basically means I can’t digest anything, and that is Very Much Not Fun.

So, I gave notice. I was employed on a trial period, to see how the part-time job worked for me and for my employers, and my conclusion is that it’s not. My final day of work is next Thursday (the 25th), at which point I will be leaping into the unemployment void.

I didn’t want to leap into the unemployment void, so I did apply for some other jobs, ones where the hours and tasks would be better suited to managing my chronic health problems. I had two interviews, and I was fairly invested in both roles, but neither of them came to fruition. So. Unemployment void it is.

But I probably need a bit of time to get my health back under control anyway. Also, we’re finally reaching the point in the redecorating where I’ll be able to move into my new bedroom next week (hopefully) — at which point we have to clear my current bedroom for redecorating. This will be a mammoth task since it houses all my books, so having the time to do that during the week will speed it up considerably. Even if I have no idea where we’re going to put all the books.

At least I’m just about managing to keep going with dance. I have a feis (competition) this Saturday and an exam on Sunday — I’m considerably more worried about the latter, because it’s the first Irish dance exam I’ve done, and I had to miss class yesterday due to illness so I missed a lot of the preparatory info that I need. With luck I’ll be able to go to class tomorrow and go over it, because otherwise I’m kind of screwed.

It feels like, in a state of total physical and mental exhaustion, dance should be the first thing I cut back on — but although I’ve missed a lot of classes due to migraines, I know that I can’t afford to stop dancing completely, because physical fitness is the only thing keeping my health from being completely terrible, instead of mostly terrible. I have to treat dance like physio or a prescription, because my body needs it to stay strong.

Anyway. That’s what’s going on in my life right now. It’s been tricky to blog about, because obviously I didn’t want to talk about jobhunting before I’d given notice in case someone from work saw it, and it’s hard to find much to say about waiting for news anyway. But I’m alive. Hopefully things will start improving next week — I’ll have a new room, a new bed, and no job. Okay, maybe the last bit’s not so ideal, but we’ll figure it out.

Bard is at 63,149 words and I suspect it’ll easily be 100k+ when finished, if not longer. I’m 200 pages into reading The Shadow of the Wind. I have an awful cold and my sleep patterns are 100% skewed.

What’s happening in your life right now?

3 thoughts on “Pain, Pitch Wars, and the Unemployment Void

  1. Really sorry to hear about your work and physical situation, especially after we chatted on Twitter about those two things. For me, it’s been a weird, mixed week, and there are a few things I can’t talk about. I, too, am on the job hunt. I bombed the assessment and babbled through the interview of a job this week, which was a shame – I hadn’t been invested in the job until I did more extensive research and the assessment further made me want to do the role. So kicking myself for running out of time and not expressing myself well.

  2. I feel for you SO much with the rejection void. *waves from own rejection void too* It all really sucks, and worse that it kind of all hit you in a rush. I hope the pain flare ups ease off soon though. But at least yay you get to finish Bard (totally NOT saying that out of self-interest…) and I’m excited to hear about your NaNo project when you decide on it.

    I’m heading off in two days to stay with my sister for a month and yayyy solo-travelling anxiety.😭😂

  3. Sounds like you’re listening to your body. Keep on dancing–best of luck with your competition and exam. And here’s hoping all the rest sorts itself out. Speaking from more middle age, I can say the juggling of life just gets more complicated, but you seem to be much more attuned to what you need than I was at your age–that’s for sure! I’m thinking of maybe doing NaNo, too, so we’ll be in that mess at the same time!

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