Browsed by
Category: Mental Health

50k, Onesies, and Fatigue

50k, Onesies, and Fatigue

I hit 50k for NaNoWriMo on the 11th November. I didn’t say much at the time because I still have a long way to go before I finish the book and, for me, hitting 50k is not especially remarkable. It wasn’t my fastest year (2013 only took me three days), but also wasn’t my slowest (last year I hit 50k on on Day 26). It felt like an achievement, but in many ways one I only managed by virtue of…

Read More Read More

Stress-Knitting and NaNoWriMo

Stress-Knitting and NaNoWriMo

I was hoping to be able to carry on my last post’s positivity, but unfortunately it’s been a pretty crappy week and a half for me, which is why I haven’t been posting anything. Both my mental health and my physical health have taken a downturn, in different ways and for different reasons, so I’ve been struggling to get work done — or anything else, for that matter. I mean, my mental health wasn’t great before, because as I mentioned,…

Read More Read More

Honesty And Anxiety

Honesty And Anxiety

Lately, my anxiety has been… bad. I thought I was doing better, that I was learning to manage it and cope and get through. During the summer, I had some seriously anxious periods, including while travelling, but they were generally triggered by specific events or environments, so they seemed more logical than some of my other anxiety. And, while they weren’t fun, I mostly got through them without too much difficulty. So I thought I was in a good position…

Read More Read More

Trigger Warnings For Poetry

Trigger Warnings For Poetry

A reader contacted me this morning to say that after, having enjoyed Fleeting Ink, they were interested in reading Crossroads Poetry and Broken Body Fragile Heart, but that they couldn’t really cope with reading about self harm and therefore weren’t sure whether they’d be able to enjoy the collections. I can totally sympathise with this: at the time that I wrote these poems, reading about self harm probably would have screwed me over too, and the last thing I want…

Read More Read More

Living With Strangers: Miriam in Ireland, 2017

Living With Strangers: Miriam in Ireland, 2017

One of the things I said about my trip to Ireland was that I would be reliant on the help and goodwill of strangers. Moreover, I knew I’d be sleeping in shared dorms with people I’d never met before, including a mixed dorm in Drogheda.  (Apart from family members, I’ve never really lived with men in any capacity. I go to a women’s college, so even at uni — which in any case doesn’t have shared rooms — I don’t…

Read More Read More

Shooting for Success

Shooting for Success

On Tuesday, I went to archery for the first time in four years. For about a year, in 2012-13, I used to shoot weekly with an after-school archery club. It was run by a guy called Peter who’d been doing it since the 90s for 20p a session (though it went up to 30p while I was there; that’s inflation for you), and for quite a bit of the time I was there, I was the only member who wasn’t…

Read More Read More

Blame My Dissertation

Blame My Dissertation

I haven’t been sleeping as much as I’d like recently. I probably still sleep more than the average person; it’s still the Easter break, I’m still fatigued, and I don’t often get up before noon. But I’m not sleeping well. I find it difficult to drop off, however late it is when I go to bed; a lot of that’s to do with anxiety, and I’ve had some significant panic attacks lately, though I’m not certain why. Even once I…

Read More Read More

Optimism Is Looking On The Knight Side

Optimism Is Looking On The Knight Side

I made a sort of unofficial promise to myself, as I contemplated the start of the new year and the chance to give my blog some fresh life and maybe even some improved stats: I was going to try and be positive about things.  Take my last post, for example. It could have been a negative post about how my mental and physical health got in the way of all the arts and crafts I used to enjoy, but instead…

Read More Read More

2017: Goals and Small Steps

2017: Goals and Small Steps

I’m not a big one for New Year’s Resolutions. I think it’s partly because I’m always more depressed in winter, and usually ill as well, so I don’t have the energy to commit to stuff, but it’s partly that January never feels as much like a new start as September / the start of the academic year does. After all, I’m still stressing about the same essays and deadlines, so nothing has really changed. It’s easier to resolve to have…

Read More Read More

Depression, Writing, and 2016

Depression, Writing, and 2016

One thing that’s been noticeable about 2016 is that I haven’t been blogging very much. I made a brief attempt in the middle of the year to change that, but it didn’t last long, and since then a weekly post has been about all I can manage (if that). Although I’ve managed to keep my book blog more consistent, that’s only been possible because I schedule a lot of posts in advance. To be honest, I’ve been writing less in…

Read More Read More