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Tag: mental illness

Depression, Writing, and 2016

Depression, Writing, and 2016

One thing that’s been noticeable about 2016 is that I haven’t been blogging very much. I made a brief attempt in the middle of the year to change that, but it didn’t last long, and since then a weekly post has been about all I can manage (if that). Although I’ve managed to keep my book blog more consistent, that’s only been possible because I schedule a lot of posts in advance. To be honest, I’ve been writing less in…

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A Waiting Game

A Waiting Game

Last week, I finished writing Bard. Although I’m aware that it has flaws (many, many flaws) I’m pretty proud of it in its first draft state, and my handful of Wattpad readers have, for the most part, given positive feedback about the ending. If I were to write it again, there are obviously things I would do differently, and maybe one day I will edit it… but it is not this day. However, I’m always very, very happy to hear…

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Expections Vs Reality

Expections Vs Reality

As you’ll know if you spend any time in bookish internet communities (or just read my blog), The Raven King by Maggie Stiefvater came out this week. Mine, despite having been pre-ordered, didn’t come until the day after release day, but I’m counting myself lucky compared to some folks in the US where Amazon sold out and couldn’t ship even the pre-orders — how does that happen? Once the book arrived, I spent a bit of time admiring the cover,…

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Mental Illness Is A Sneaky Beast

Mental Illness Is A Sneaky Beast

Sometimes I think I’m managing okay despite my anxiety and depression getting in the way of life. Okay, so I’m not at university, but Cambridge is a stressful place and I’m managing fine apart from that, right? Wrong. Every time I think I’ve got things under control I realise yet another thing has slipped under the radar, so I decided to compile a list of all the ways my mental illness has sneaked up on me recently, making me think…

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Reclaiming Brokenness

Reclaiming Brokenness

On Sunday, when my sister was home for Mothers’ Day, we had a disagreement about the fact I refer to myself as “broken” because of my physical health problems and “mental” or “crazy” on days when I’m feeling particularly frustrated with my mental health problems. Her reasoning was that by using these somewhat derogatory terms, I was being defeatist, and suggesting I didn’t think I was going to get better. Moreover, by calling myself broken and mental, I was reinforcing…

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Unreliable Muses

Unreliable Muses

What is it about poetry that’s so unpredictable and inconsistent? Like most writers, I’m prone to fluctuating between “write as often as possible and ignore this concept of the ‘muse’ because it’ll never turn up” and “I can’t write, I have no inspiration”. The two are contradictory, and often I’m aiming for the former but the latter sneaks up on me and becomes a ready-made excuse for why I haven’t done anything for weeks except reblog gifs of tiny little…

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Here Are The Facts: I’m Unhappy

Here Are The Facts: I’m Unhappy

So far, being twenty hasn’t been that great. Okay, I can’t judge a whole year based on a week’s experience. Being nineteen wasn’t brilliant. Eighteen was stressful. Seventeen was painful and full of difficulties. So twenty has the potential to at least be better than those, if I give it a chance. But, well, sometimes university just kind of sucks. I try to be honest on my blog and on other social media, but there are limitations to that. I…

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Poem-mas Day 6: Fighting The Early Hours

Poem-mas Day 6: Fighting The Early Hours

Whoops! Bit of a late one, this — I was singing in our church’s carol service this evening, and while I’d hoped to get the blog post done this afternoon, I slept instead. Because naps. However, since I know a lot of my readers are in other timezones, I guess it doesn’t matter when I post as long as I do. Today’s poem is once again from Crossroads Poetry. It originates from a point in my life when I was…

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The Ten Days Of Poem-mas

The Ten Days Of Poem-mas

Content warning: references to self harm. Had I planned this a bit better, I would have started twelve days before Christmas and been able to fit the song a little better. Or possibly I would have gone for the twelve days after Christmas — I’m never sure which it’s supposed to be. But planning isn’t my strong point, as I only decided to do this a few minutes ago, so you’ll have to forgive me for that one. Next month…

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A Sky Full Of Stars

A Sky Full Of Stars

In terms of mental health, the last few days have not been amazing. Actually, let’s back up a bit, and say the last few weeks. What I thought were a few days of fatigue and missing motivation dragged on, and all my hard-won productivity earlier this term has been negated by my complete failure to function when it comes to academics (or getting out of bed, or writing, or doing any of the things I want to do). Today I…

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