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Bright Spots Amidst The Anxious Darkness

Bright Spots Amidst The Anxious Darkness

I thought, since my last post was a bit of a downer, I’d write one concentrating on some of the bright points of this week. Because there were bright points! To be honest, I felt awful on Wednesday, but it’s been a slow and steady improvement since then. I’m still stressed and anxious and overworked, but I haven’t had any more panic attacks. So, here are some pieces of good news. 1. My friend Cait’s book is coming out in…

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Eight Hours Of Inferiority

Eight Hours Of Inferiority

In her welcome speech, the college principal apparently told freshers that there are twenty-four hours in every day: eight for sleeping, eight for work, and eight for other things (societies, socialising, and so on). My tutor, when she quoted this to us in our start of term meeting, added, “But I think six or seven hours of working is probably enough.” I disagree with both of them. Strongly. The latter, marginally less strongly, but I still disagree. This way of…

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Settling In

Settling In

I arrived in Cambridge at lunchtime on Friday. By about 10pm I’d unpacked as much as I could stand to unpack, on the basis that if I leave it in a box this early in the term, it will stay in that box forever. On Saturday morning I filmed and edited a flat tour before any of my flatmates have arrived, again because I knew that if I didn’t do it straight away, it just wouldn’t get done, based on…

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What To Wear To Lectures At Uni

What To Wear To Lectures At Uni

The question of what to wear to lectures bothered me a lot in the lead up to university. Having worn school uniform for so long (and then had a strict dress code in sixth form), I wasn’t really sure what to go for. I think there’s a lot of misinformation out there. There certainly was when I was searching for any information I could find. Personally, I got worried because the Tumblr blog “askacambridgestudent”, usually a very reliable source of…

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Exam Results and Irish Dance

Exam Results and Irish Dance

Me: “My exams are over now so I’ll actually do some blogging!” Also me: doesn’t even plug computer in for a week Well. I didn’t mean to leave it more than two weeks before following up on my last post, but sadly the post-exam period brought with it a nasty migraine that meant I couldn’t face looking at screens, and even though that’s mostly gone now, I’ve still been completely unmotivated. On the plus side, I’ve read quite a few…

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Healthy Body, Healthy Mind

Healthy Body, Healthy Mind

I hear the refrain healthy body, healthy mind quite a lot. (Well, I read it quite a lot. Usually on people’s blogs as they try and inspire other masochists to get up at 6am and go for a run. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO YOURSELF?) Mostly, it annoys me, because as someone who is chronically and mentally ill, both a healthy body and a healthy mind seem out of my reach. However, I’m trying to work on the basis…

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You Can’t Edit A Blank Page

You Can’t Edit A Blank Page

One of the lies I was told about Cambridge before I started was that although the terms were extremely intense, they were short, and therefore I would have plenty of time to recover in the holidays before I had to do it all again. It’s true that the terms aren’t long, compared to many universities and definitely compared to school. We have eight weeks of teaching at a time, and then substantial breaks. But there is no time to recover,…

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Blame My Dissertation

Blame My Dissertation

I haven’t been sleeping as much as I’d like recently. I probably still sleep more than the average person; it’s still the Easter break, I’m still fatigued, and I don’t often get up before noon. But I’m not sleeping well. I find it difficult to drop off, however late it is when I go to bed; a lot of that’s to do with anxiety, and I’ve had some significant panic attacks lately, though I’m not certain why. Even once I…

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Small, Unsteady Steps

Small, Unsteady Steps

Well, I made it to the end of term. This is not an insignificant achievement, since this time last year I had to take time out of uni before the end of term and so this is my second attempt at getting to the end of Lent Term of second year, and the first time I’ve managed it. In some ways, this term has seen me with just as many problems (health-related and otherwise) as last year, especially with the…

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Dissertation Hell Is Full Of Tomatoes

Dissertation Hell Is Full Of Tomatoes

I used to be good at deadlines — they used to be what motivated me, to the point where I’d create them for myself, insisting on increasingly high wordcount totals or number of books read. Of course, that was mostly to do with things I wanted to do, things that were fun, rather than work… but still, sometimes I have to think hard to remember the days before deadlines made my brain shut down out of panic. Even with last…

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