Now, I don’t make it a habit to talk about my dreams. Nor do I tend to talk about politics (or anything even slightly controversial). This post is going to be about both.
I’m British, so the elections last night didn’t affect me directly. But as they say, when America sneezes, Europe catches the cold. I’m convinced that whatever happens to you guys, happens to us too. I’ve not kept it a secret that of the candidates, I supported Obama (since, you know, I’m a girl, I’m not rich, and several of my friends are gay, therefore I automatically don’t really benefit from Romney). I was incredibly relieved this morning to log onto Tumblr and see the fluffy bunnies and unicorns that informed me Obama had won. If he had not, I imagine it would have been fire and pleas for help. That’s how we roll on Tumblr.
Last night, I had a nightmare about the election. I’m not even kidding, absurd as it seems for somebody to have a bad dream about an election that isn’t even their own government. Let me tell you about that dream, since it was inordinately detailed and I remember all of it, always unusual.
It started with Romney having won, which was something I was seriously concerned about. No offense to his supporters, if any read this, but that wasn’t the outcome I was hoping for.
As a result of this, several of my Tumblr friends decided to try and overthrow the government. This is something they’ve mentioned in jokes before, so I can see where my brain got it from. As well as various demonstrations, hacking of websites etc, they were going to have an enormous protest in New York in August of next year, and I agreed to help out.
What was more, I helped to organise most of the thing, to the point where a team of us from the UK were going to be flying over to New York to take part, since they didn’t want to have the protest without given how much of it I’d organised. An internet fundraiser helped us get the money for plane tickets – I travelled with my good friend Charley, and we stayed with Pheris, just outside New York. And the day of the protest arrived.
I’m pretty sure I was being quite badass, out the front yelling about equality and rights, and the police noticed. And they recognised me. I was arrested, even while informing them that ‘in the UK, we have this thing called the right to free speech. Do you have that here?’ which they didn’t appreciate, unsurprisingly. Dammit, dream!me. Stop getting yourself into more trouble.
While under arrest, they informed me that they knew of the part I had played in organising the whole affair, something I denied. “We’ll be charging you with terrorism,” they told me.
“It was a peaceful protest!” I remember saying several times, and I freaked out and said they couldn’t prove that I’d been involved in the planning.
“Is your Tumblr username ‘initially a pirate’?” they asked me (terrifying in itself, as any Tumblr users will know) and went on to list my handles of several other websites.
They’d found me.
Ah, but I was in more trouble. They were intending to take me to court, and my visa only lasted a week, so I was going to be in super trouble if I stayed longer. What was more, I’d gone to New York without my parents knowing, having informed them that I was going to stay with Charley. And there’d been news cameras everywhere when I got arrested…
I was in massive trouble with them.
I remember while I was under arrest, I started singing a bunch of songs, which they thought were super offensive. “Whose army is he from? Whose badge, whose revolution? Tell me, whose side is he on?” (Actually from a Christian song, referring to Jesus, but they took it as further proof of my terrorist activities.)
I think I woke up at this point (though I had another dream, in which no one in America was allowed to tell us anything and it was all a big secret and we spent the whole day with no idea what was going on), as I don’t remember anything else and I’m pretty sure we didn’t go to court in the course of the dream.
And actually, looking back, it’s more amusing than anything else – though while I was dreaming it, I considered it a nightmare. My parents would kill me if I got arrested in New York when they thought I was in the UK still!
I’m not planning to overthrow any governments (so please, FBI, if you’re reading this: I’m innocent). I’m very relieved that Obama was elected. But I think it funny that instead of just panicking about the direction things would take in my subconscious mind, my brain came up with an entire plan for the eventuality, right up to the details of how we’d fund the plane tickets.
After all, revolutions were always my favourite part of history.