My resolution to keep better on top with blogging this term hasn’t gone quite as well as planned, not least because I discovered the TV show Lucifer and watched a season of it over the course of two days this week. I know. I have absolutely no self-control when it comes to Haribo, TV, or getting out of bed in the morning.
My Amazon Prime binging was mostly motivated by having a couple of rubbishy pain days with added fatigue. I haven’t exactly got past that — this trapped nerve in my neck’s killing me, to be honest, and my shoulders are their usually disastrous self, constantly slipping in and out of where they’re meant to be. And I feel like I haven’t slept in several days, even though it’s only about four hours since I woke up from my afternoon nap. So yeah, that kind of sucks.
But on the plus side, I’ve written two essays so far this term, made a decent start on the reading for the third (although given that I’m trying to get it done by tomorrow evening, probably not enough of a start), watched all existing episodes of Lucifer, and taken a seemingly endless number of pictures of Nellie.
(She fell asleep on my chair the other day, properly fast asleep with her paw over her face, and I felt like a terrible person when I had to wake her up and carry her outside. Such a warm, snuggly beastie; difficult enough to turn her out even when she isn’t meowing sadly at me because she doesn’t understand why I interrupted her nap.)
Currently, I’m multi-tasking by catching up on Carmilla in another window while writing this blog post, which isn’t easy, especially as I keep getting distracted by emotions. When I’m done, I’ll fill myself with sugar so that I can stay awake to do a couple more hours of reading for this essay, because I’m kind of swamped, and then do my best to get a good night’s sleep.
In some ways, things are going better than last year. For example, I’m enjoying my Old Irish classes a lot more, even though I’m still just as bad at grammar as I always was. I get on well with the others in the class, and with the teacher, who is also my dissertation supervisor. And sure, I said some silly things in Thursday’s class because I was kind of out of it on co-codamol, but I felt like they were laughing with me rather than at me, you know?
(“Buttress is a funny word. It’s like a mattress, for your butt.” — Miriam Joy’s most profound quote of 2016.)
Flatmate and I both had parental visits yesterday, so our fridge is filled to bursting with food — and Sainsbury’s has just expanded their free-from range, including gluten free lemon tart, which is something I’ve been missing. I’ve laid in enough supplies to withstand a siege, and my freezer is a masterclass in food-based Tetris.
All that aside… this week hasn’t felt as positive. I’ve been kind of overwhelmed by how much I have to do, and as well as having a couple of bad pain/fatigue days, I also had some bad body image feelings this week, which combined with dodgy shoulders stopped me from going to ballet yesterday. There are currently papers and books open all over my floor. I’ve spent more money on Haribo than I promised myelf I would. Nellie hasn’t come to visit me today, probably because she’s still upset about the nap-interrupting incident yesterday.
Plus I have a huge number of ARCs demanding my attention and reviews, so even just reading fiction doesn’t entirely feel like a way of relaxing.
But y’know. I’m alive. I haven’t actually missed any deadlines yet, even if I can see that in my near future. I may not have edited and uploaded my room tour vlog for this year, but I did film it. (That said, I haven’t watched the footage yet to see if it’s any good.)
Oh! And I got adopted by another small fluffy beastie, this time a dog called Button who seemed to like me an inordinate amount, given that dogs usually don’t. Or maybe I’ve just never had the courage to get closer enough to any of them to warrant affection. Either way, this was the first time I found myself adopted by a small creature (some kind of corgi mix, although I’m not sure exactly what) of the canine variety. Every time I stopped rubbing his belly, he grabbed my hand to stop me from taking it away.
So this week’s been mixed. And I know the rest of the term probably will be too. I’m never going to have a perfect term at Cambridge, not while my health continues to be its usually incompetent self and Cambridge continues to work students into the ground with deadlines and obligations.
But I can have lemon tart, and I can be adopted by small animals belonging to other people, so that helps.
And right now, Carmilla’s getting super gay and emotional, so I’m gonna go and give it my full attention. See you soon.