Browsed by
Tag: mental health

Aiming For Peace

Aiming For Peace

I’ve been trying to think about what my main goals for 2019 are, but I’m finding it tricky. A year is a long time — as I said in my last post, while I didn’t achieve everything I set out to do last year, I also achieved a bunch of things it would never have occurred to me to aim for, because things change. This year is particularly unpredictable because it’s my first year out of education in, like, nineteen…

Read More Read More

A Year Of Growth

A Year Of Growth

Every New Year I find myself thinking about a previous New Year’s Eve, one that’s barely a fragment of memory: sitting in my kitchen as my uncle and grandad, sitting near the radiator, turned to each other, and said, “Well, well, well. 2002.” At this point I’m not even sure if it’s a real memory, but it’s one I’ve gone over so many times in my head that it feels like one. 2018’s been quite a year. Politically tumultuous, to…

Read More Read More

Graduation Day Reflections

Graduation Day Reflections

Today is my graduation. In 2016, I took time out of Cambridge, because I wasn’t coping. Getting diagnosed with coeliac disease in 2015 was a lot to cope with on top of my other health problems; completely rethinking my diet while trying to keep up with the intensity of a Cambridge workload was a struggle. The medication I was on for my anxiety made me sleep up to fourteen hours a day, and I spent the few hours I was…

Read More Read More

Eating Better Without Thinking About Food

Eating Better Without Thinking About Food

I don’t have a great relationship with food. In fact, that’s an understatement. I have a bad relationship with food and exist on the perpetual verge of a worse one. I have good reasons for this. First up there are the body image issues, which in my case have very little to do with being attractive to an arbitrary observer and a lot to do with being trans and chronically ill and thus spending my life feeling like I’m in…

Read More Read More

Honesty And Anxiety

Honesty And Anxiety

Lately, my anxiety has been… bad. I thought I was doing better, that I was learning to manage it and cope and get through. During the summer, I had some seriously anxious periods, including while travelling, but they were generally triggered by specific events or environments, so they seemed more logical than some of my other anxiety. And, while they weren’t fun, I mostly got through them without too much difficulty. So I thought I was in a good position…

Read More Read More

Eight Hours Of Inferiority

Eight Hours Of Inferiority

In her welcome speech, the college principal apparently told freshers that there are twenty-four hours in every day: eight for sleeping, eight for work, and eight for other things (societies, socialising, and so on). My tutor, when she quoted this to us in our start of term meeting, added, “But I think six or seven hours of working is probably enough.” I disagree with both of them. Strongly. The latter, marginally less strongly, but I still disagree. This way of…

Read More Read More

Trigger Warnings For Poetry

Trigger Warnings For Poetry

A reader contacted me this morning to say that after, having enjoyed Fleeting Ink, they were interested in reading Crossroads Poetry and Broken Body Fragile Heart, but that they couldn’t really cope with reading about self harm and therefore weren’t sure whether they’d be able to enjoy the collections. I can totally sympathise with this: at the time that I wrote these poems, reading about self harm probably would have screwed me over too, and the last thing I want…

Read More Read More

A Sickly Return: Miriam in Ireland, 2017 

A Sickly Return: Miriam in Ireland, 2017 

My triumphant return from Ireland was marred somewhat by the fact that I woke up on my last day in Dublin feeling horrifically ill. It wasn’t entirely clear whether it was the flu or a nasty cold and sore throat combined with the migraine I’d been battling for a week already, but it wasn’t fun.  And it made it pretty hard to make the most of my last day wandering the city, too, as I kept having to stop and…

Read More Read More

An Aggressively Positive Playlist

An Aggressively Positive Playlist

Okay, well, I’m officially sucking at blogging this term. Which would make sense, if I were hard at work revising for the exams I have in like two weeks (!!!!), but to be honest, there hasn’t been nearly enough work happening either. There’s been a lot of procrastination. I started doing Irish dance in my room every night with an eye to getting back into the sport, and today contacted a dance school to see if I can take classes…

Read More Read More

The (Potential) Return Of The Vlogger

The (Potential) Return Of The Vlogger

I haven’t uploaded a vlog since I tried about my ‘Medievalist Miriam‘ idea in May or June of last year. I wanted to. I filmed a couple, including a room tour of my college room this year because those have been popular in the past, mainly around Newnham applicants and offer-holders who wanted to know more about the college. (Which is precisely why I started making uni videos in the first place — my Insider Cam series was something I…

Read More Read More